Sexual Arousal: How to Turn On your Partner Right

Have you ever asked yourself if you knew how to turn someone on?

Probably not, right? Is it because you felt that these kinds of things should come naturally? Or that sex, in general, should require little to no work because it’s a part of us?

Either way, we were once in your place! We used to think that simple things are easy to do but the truth is, these require the most work to make it look incredibly uncomplicated.

Much like arousal, it takes a lot of work to get your partner hot, bothered and ready to rumble and we’re going to show you how to turn your partner on right, that is more than just telling them you want to fuck.

What is Sexual Arousal?

Let’s get the basics out of the way. Healthline says that it is a state of being sexually excited. For individuals with a vagina or penis, this could come with several unique physiological changes in the body. For example, if you have a vagina, your clitoris might swell and release natural lubrication. On the other hand, if you have a penis, it might fill up with semen and turn hard to make it easy to slide on in.

Is there a difference between arousal and desire?

Oftentimes, people mistake these two terms together but they carry different definitions. From the same article, arousal are the physical changes that occur when you get turned on, while desire is the emotional want of having sex.

How does desire play a role in arousal?

Since desire is based on emotions, then arousal is its physical manifestation. Healthily lays down the common characteristics of arousal for women:

  • Your pulse and heartbeat quicken, and your blood pressure rises.

  • Your blood vessels dilate, including blood vessels to the genitals.

  • Your vagina and vulva might become wet to help lubricate the genitals.

  • Parts of your vulva, such as the labia (lips) and clitoris, become swollen due to the increased blood supply.

  • Your vaginal canal might expand.

  • Your breasts become fuller, and your nipples may become erect.

For men’s arousal, Cleveland Clinic notes the following:

  • Muscle tension increases.

  • Heart rate quickens and breathing gets faster.

  • Skin may become flushed (blotches of redness may appear on the chest and back).

  • Nipples become hardened or erect.

  • Blood flow to the genitals increases, resulting in an erection of the man’s penis.

  • The man’s testicles swell, his scrotum tightens, and he begins secreting a lubricating liquid.

What are the ways to increase arousal?

Now, we’re getting into the good stuff! There are many ways to turn you partner on but allow us to break it down according to individuals who have a vagina and those who have a penis:

Sexual Arousal in Women

Everyday Health says that there are a lot of options to achieve arousal so you can use these on your next pleasure excursion:

Using Powerful Language

Openly communicating with your partner about how you would like to be aroused is actually more powerful than you think! It opens that space for you both to discuss what should and should not be engaged with to keep the stimulation going.

If you’re nervous, you can try to break the ice through asking these questions:

  • I want to be treated right. Here’s what turns me on.

  • Do you like it when I do this?

  • What are some of the things that turn you off and what can I do instead?

  • Tell me all of your fantasies and we’ll see how we can make it come true.

Using Powerful Moves and Toys

  • If you’re doing this with a partner, have them consider these four moves to attain vaginal arousal and get a straight shot to pleasure town:

    • Angling: Rotating, raising, or lowering pelvis and hips during penetration to adjust where inside the vagina the toy or penis rubs.

    • Pairing: A woman or her partner stimulates her clitoris with a finger or sex toy simultaneously with penetration.

    • Rocking: The base of a penis or sex toy rubs against the clitoris constantly during penetration by staying all the way inside the vagina rather than thrusting in and out.

    • Shallowing: Penetrative touch just inside the entrance of the vagina.


The Naughty Collection

                                                        The Naughty Collection

  • But if you’re by yourself or you want to take things up a notch then you can definitely enlist the help of some amazing toys such as:

    • Dildo

    • Vibrator (The Naughty Collection will fulfill all of your desires, trust me!)

    • Massage Wand (Heard of the Pomi Wand? Now you do, because this is small but absolutely mind-blowing!)

Sexual Arousal in Men

In a separate article by Healthline, these are the things you can do in order to achieve arousal for your penis:

Trying something new in the bedroom

This might sound too cliche but changing things up reaps more benefits in the road to mind-blowing sex so take note of the following to try it out next time:

  • New positions: Raise your partner’s legs on your shoulders when you enter, do it from behind while lying on your side or with your partner on their hands and knees, or have your partner keep their legs closer together to tighten the vaginal canal or anal area.

  • Other forms of sexual contact. Use your mouths to build excitement, either on each other’s genitals or other erogenous areas.

  • Different entry points: Ask your partner if they’re interested in trying anal or if they’re willing to peg you with a toy.

  • Role-playing: Set up a situation or act as characters to help build an arousing story around your sexual encounter.

  • Focus less on sexual performance: Instead, focus more on identifying what type of touch feels the most pleasurable to you.


There you have it! We laid down everything you need to know in order to achieve the best sexual stimulation possible!

Remember that sexual arousal in women and men vary so it’s important to have open communication in order to get the best out of any form of arousal technique from this article.

With that, go forth and turn on your partner right!