If you like scrolling through social media memes, you may have already encountered the perfect definition of post-orgasm torture. This is pertained to a meme about how people with penises react when their partner keeps on sucking them even after they’ve already orgasmed. But, the images can be vague cause the characters seem to be enjoying the feeling yet they are in pain. So, how does post-orgasm torture really feel, and does it only happen with penises?
What is post-orgasm torture?
First, let’s discuss what post-orgasm torture is. This happens when someone intentionally stimulates the genitals after a sexual climax or orgasm. Some people find this intense and painful, but others also think this is extremely pleasurable and even consider it as their kink. Personally, I find the feeling gratifying but my partner says it’s just plain painful for him.
But, why do people experience this intense feeling when stimulated after orgasm? This is because our genitals and senses are extremely sensitive after the euphoria of ejaculation. It includes the vulva, labia, clitoris, vagina, anus, penis, and scrotum which most people avoid being touched after climax.
So, when do people intentionally use post-orgasm torture?
Post-orgasm torture is often used as a form of bondage in sexual relationships. In BDSM or bondage, one person (submissive) has little to no control over what will happen while doing sexual activities with the other (dominant.) Most of the time, post-orgasm play is used as a punishment.
However, even outside BDSM, some people may find this sexual practice pleasurable. There are even Reddit threads specifically about post-orgasm torture where people admit their love-hate relationship with it.
Can all genders experience this?
Regardless of gender and sexuality, everyone can experience or practice post-orgasm torture. However, most instances describe femdom where those with a penis are the recipient of the act. Still, some vulva owners are vocal about enjoying this as their sexual play.
According to them, the intensity of the discomfort that they get when doing post-orgasm torture makes the practice more appealing for both partners. It is still torture, yet it is safe and doesn’t cause any pain, bruises, or other injuries.
Post-orgasm torture in vulva-owners
As mentioned, vulva owners can be the recipient of post-orgasm torture. While penis orgasms are pretty predictable, vaginal orgasms can vary widely from person to person — even within the same individual over time. And that's because vulva owners have different types of orgasms: clitoral and vaginal.
However, I can say that the most intense post-orgasm torture that I, as a person with a vagina, have experienced is through clitoris stimulation. It is overly sensitive after ejaculation and a simple touch would feel out of this world. But, you have to make sure that you use lube when doing this because vaginas tend to be dry after orgasm and it can be painful.
You can also use vibrators like wand massagers, clitoris suckers, or remote-controlled vibrators for a better experience.
Post-orgasm torture in penis-owners
If you have a penis, you can experience the most intense post-orgasm torture through stimulation of the glans and the head of the penis. You can do this when the penis is semi-erect but it would still be better if it is fully erect. However, this can be difficult without any help from sex toys or inducers.
Some men experience a refractory period after ejaculation during which they become extremely sensitive and may not even be able to get their penis right back up again. The length of this period varies; some men are ready to go again within minutes while others may need hours before they can get another erection. The amount of time it takes for someone to recover varies based on age, health, and other factors.
However, if done right, post-orgasm torture can retain the erection of a man even after ejaculation. You can also use penis toys which will help the penis stay hard. It will restrict the blood in the penis and keep it hard for a longer period.
How to engage in a safe post-orgasm torture
Before anything else, the safety of one another must be your priority when engaging in post-orgasm torture. Remember that even if it has the word “torture” in it, the practice doesn’t have to be painful for everyone. It should also not cause any injury incidents for both you and your partner. Here are some of the ways to practice safe sex while doing post-orgasm torture.
1. Practice clear communication
The key to doing safe post-orgasm torture is communication and consent. It's not just about what you do, but how you do it and why you do it. If your partner isn't into something, then don't force them to do it. They should be able to tell you what they like and what they don't like without being afraid of hurting your feelings. If there is a problem with communication, then it's likely that something will go wrong when you do this kind of play.
Note that this type of sexual play can cause extreme discomfort and even pain at times. You and your partner should be able to define the fine line between being kinky and being disrespectful to one another.
For safer post-orgasm torture, practice sharing of safeword as a signal for the dominant that their partner wants them to stop. This should be clear and something that is not easy to confuse with things you can say out of pleasure.
Another thing worth mentioning here is trust: You need to trust your partner enough so that you feel safe enough with them to let go of control during sex (or play) time without feeling like they're going to hurt or abuse you in any way.
2. Use restraints
Many people use restraints for their partners when practicing post-orgasm torture for an additional sense of being dominant. However, some use this to practice safety during the play. This is because when a body feels extreme discomfort, it tends to struggle, take off, or push the person or thing inducing the feeling. This can be dangerous for both the dominant and the submissive, but using restraints can prevent this from happening.
You can use ropes, cuffs, ribbons, neckties, or other devices. Some people also use medical restraints for a better experience. But, if you cannot get ahold of it, you can just get sturdy and comfortable bondage sets in sex paraphernalia shops. They are cheaper and easier to use so even if it is your first time trying BDSM, you don’t have to worry about wasting a large amount of money when you decide it is not for you.
When you put restraints, make sure that you test their durability and comfort on the positions you are planning to do. Make it so the dominant would really struggle to get out of it so there won’t be any accidents when they suddenly flinch out of instinct. Of course, you should still have a backup plan like sending a message to your friend where the keys are or calling 911 when some emergency happens during the play.
3. Use sex toys
If you want to enjoy the post-orgasm play more, you may need to buy a stronger sex toy that would stimulate you or your partner’s genitals. If you have a penis, you can use a masturbator, fleshlight, or penis ring. Meanwhile, those with vaginas are free to use wands, egg vibrators, or clitoris suckers. Note that it can be a better experience if you use those with remote control.
4. Know how to stimulate your partner
When you perform post-orgasm torture, you should know how and where to stimulate your partner. If your partner has a penis, you can stimulate the head of their penis or glans. It is the most sensitive part after ejaculation so massaging it would induce a deeply uncomfortable yet satisfying feeling for a person. You can use cock rings or bondage to retain the erection for a longer period.
Meanwhile, stimulating the clitoris for those with a vulva is the best move you can do. Like the head of the penis, it is extremely sensitive and can be sore after ejaculation so any slight contact with it will bring in both pleasure and discomfort for your partner. While at it, make sure to lubricate the clitoris or the thing you will use to stimulate it for better sensation. A wand massager will work best for this one.
5. It should not be overly painful and cause injuries.
Most importantly, you should always, always remember that post-orgasm torture should not be overly painful nor cause any injuries. Some people might confuse pain with being uncomfortable but if the feeling does not evolve into pleasure over time, then it might be a problem. This is definitely the pain that you are feeling.
Moreover, it shouldn’t cause any injuries for the both of you. This is why practicing safe post-orgasm torture is really important. Binding and having proper communication will play a very important role in ensuring that both of you are safe from any harm. There are also times when sex toys can scrape the skin of your genitals or cause vaginal scarring when you don’t use enough lube with them. So, make sure that you always have enough lube ready when doing this play.