Even in these modern times, one of the most elusive bedroom challenges would still be giving a person with a vagina an intense orgasm. You see, most pornographic videos are focused on male arousals which leads to most people having less to no idea on how to stimulate (or even locate) the clitoris. This is also why most vulva owners rarely experience intense orgasms.
In this article, we’ll help you be more "clitoris literate" and find the best way to give or have the most intense clitoral orgasm.
Clitoral Orgasm vs. Vaginal Orgasm
People with vaginas can experience orgasms in different ways which may be confusing for most. Aside from the fact that G-Spots may be located differently inside the vagina, some can only orgasm through clitoral stimulation. But, how does clitoral orgasm differ from vaginal orgasm?
Let me start with vaginal orgasm. This is a common notion of achieving orgasm through penetration and stimulation of the vagina. In the past, Sigmund Freud said that female orgasm is only possible by entering the reproductive tract. He even referred to those who orgasm through the clitoris as "infantile."
However, this was just a misogynist claim and was repeatedly proved wrong as research shows only 25-30% of women experience orgasm through penetration. Meanwhile, approximately 70% of people with a vagina enjoy orgasms through clitoral stimulation. This is what we call a clitoral orgasm.
The Stages of Orgasm
To understand how clitoral orgasm happens, you must understand the different stages of it first. The sexual response cycle has four stages which are excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution. You should note that the intensity and timing of each stage may differ from person to person. By understanding them, you and your partner can get a better sexual experience.
First Stage: Excitement
Excitement or sexual arousal is the first stage of orgasm. It involves physical and psychological responses to erotic stimuli. For people with vaginas, this usually includes dilation and elevation of the genitals. As a person gets aroused, the heart rate quickens, blood pressure increases, and fluids pass through the vaginal walls. This, in effect, makes the vulva swollen, wet, and expanded.
Second Stage: Plateau
The second stage in the sexual response cycle is called the plateau phase. This is when you feel intense pleasure and continue to feel it for a prolonged period of time. When the blood flow in the vaginal opening reaches its limit, it becomes more firm. At this stage, you will notice that breasts are enlarged and nipples are less erect. The clitoris is also pulled back against the pubic bone and may seem hidden.
It's a critical point in sexual arousal because it can bring about an orgasm if properly stimulated during this phase or lead to frustration if not properly stimulated during this phase.
Third Stage: Orgasm
Orgasm is the third stage of sexual response in which there are intense muscle contractions at orgasmic peaks (or climaxes). The intensity can vary depending on the individual's preference, but generally, a vaginal or clitoral orgasm lasts between 20-35 seconds. After orgasm, a refractory period ensues where there are no further erections or orgasms until this time period has passed (usually between 30 minutes to an hour).
Although some people don’t experience vaginal orgasms, we are actually blessed with no recovery period, unlike males. This means that we can have further orgasms through repeated stimulations.
Fourth Stage: Resolution
Resolution is the fourth stage of the sexual response cycle when muscles relax, heart rate and breathing return to normal levels, and endorphins flood your system to produce feelings of well-being.
What is Clitoris and Where is it Located?
The clitoris is a small, sensitive part of the female reproductive system. It is also often referred to as the pleasure center. In fact, it’s so sensitive that many women have trouble reaching orgasm from vaginal intercourse alone. It also has about 8,000 nerve endings — twice as many as the penis!
But, where can you see the clitoris? This is a crucial question that I must answer especially because a lot of people fail to locate this part. As a matter of fact, a survey of British people showed that 37% of them, regardless of gender, don’t know where the clitoris is.
If you’re one of the people who don’t know where it is, let me help you.
The clitoris is located at the top of the labia minora (the inner lips), just below where they meet at the top of your pubic mound. It’s made up of three parts: The glans and shaft are external, while the crura (or roots) are internal.
This is also known as the tip or head of the clitoris and is what most people think of when they think of "clitoris." It’s a small bulb-shaped part about 1 cm long that swells with blood during arousal. This is where most of the sensation is coming from.
This part extends inside the body and connects to the glans at its base. The shaft becomes engorged during arousal and may also experience some sensation during intercourse or manual stimulation. The shaft contains many sensitive nerve endings, but it doesn’t swell with blood as the glans do, so it’s not as sensitive (but it still feels good!).
These are two elongated folds that extend down from each side of the pubic bone beneath your outer lips and flank on either side of your urethral opening (where urine comes out). They contain nerve endings that respond to pressure, which is why they can feel good when they’re stimulated during sex or masturbation.
Clitoral Stimulation Techniques
Yes, the clitoris is highly erogenous and the center of vaginal pleasure. However, you still need to remember that it is not a button that magically turns on a vulva owner. A lot of people think that simply poking or stroking the clitoris will bring its owner to extreme ecstasy. The truth is, you need to know the right stimulation and consistency techniques to give the best clitoral orgasm.
Here are some of the clitoral stimulation techniques that will guarantee extreme orgasms.
1. Communicate with your partner.
Now, let’s start with the most obvious and crucial technique that everyone should know and practice in every sexual practice–communication and consent. The most sensitive part of the clitoris is the glans but it can be difficult to find especially if it is your first time (or second, third, and fourth time.)
The best way to locate the right spot of the clitoris is by asking for your partner’s guidance. Let the vulva owner place your fingers on the perfect spot. You can even ask what intensity or way of stroking is the most pleasurable. Remember, clits may look different from others and it’s definitely not shameful to ask. Trust me, your partner will appreciate you asking about it.
2. Give complete control to your partner
If you’re still unsure where you should start after asking for guidance, you can also give your partner complete control. Cup their vulva firmly and let them hump or grind against it, thus controlling the rhythm and pressure. You can ask them to move their hips against your hand and demonstrate the movement that works best for them.
3. Opt for indirect stimulation.
Preference for clitoral stimulation may differ from person to person, so it is best to ask or test the waters first. If your partner finds direct clitoral stimulation too intense, you can opt for indirect stimulation instead. Start by stroking the clitoral hood or the sides of the clitoral shafts to stimulate the area around the glans. This can also work as a starter for those who are not that sensitive.
4. Utilize your surroundings.
Feeling crafty? You can use your environment to get you or your partner in an optimal position. Whether you use the headboards, countertops, or sofa backs is entirely up to your preference, comfort level, and creativity.
For instance, you can use your headboard by resting your or your partner’s back against it and having the other person straddle the hips. For support, the straddler can grab the back and this would be the perfect position to keep the clit within reach.
5. Ride and glide.
One of the best tools for clit stimulation is your pubic mound and thighs. They are firm yet not hard which makes them perfect for the sensitive clitoris. To do this, you just need to get yourself or your partner into a seated or reclined position and ask the other person to slide up and down the pubic bone, thigh, or belly.
In my experience, it would be better if you use your favorite lube or oil to avoid the uncomfortable friction of the surface to your clit. The additional sensation will feel ecstatic with the wonderful smooth glide.
6. Reverse the ride.
The reverse rider is another position that offers one of the best clitoris stimulation. To do this, let your partner straddle you while you are facing the other way.
If you have a penis or a strap-on available, you can use it to penetrate and stimulate the vagina of your partner. While thrusting, your partner can put their hands between their legs and rub their clit. The mixture of the simultaneous stimulation will make you and your partner feel wild!
But if there is no penis or strap-on available, you can put one or more pillows under your partner’s pelvis. The alteration of your hips’ angle will be enough for both clit to come in contact and create a highly arousing friction with each other.
7. Play the "Clit Clock" game.
Another clitoral stimulation that you should try is the "clit clock." Despite its playful name, this is actually pretty easy to do but guarantees your partner unstoppable moans. To start, imagine that the clit is a clock with the top point pointing to the belly button as twelve, and the spot close to your vaginal opening as six.
8. Make a peace sign.
Who says the peace sign is only for taking cute photos? If you want to experience better clitoris stimulation, you can put your finger in a peace sign or V-shape and slide them up and down the outer or inner lips of the clit. Make sure that you put lots of lube because it won’t be as pleasurable without them.
In this technique, you are stimulating the extended internal structure or the highly sensitive erectile tissue of the clitoris. It also becomes engorged, hotter, filled with blood, and pulsing.
9. Stay consistent.
Everyone knows that in making you or your partner orgasm, consistency is the key. Once you find a movement, rhythm, or intensity that feels best, make sure that you stay consistent with it. There is nothing more frustrating than building your plateau only to feel disappointed when the pace changes. Continue whatever you are doing, let it build up, and just let your partner orgasm uncontrollably.
10. Practice pleasure calibration.
Yes, we said consistency is the key. However, there are also some people who find pleasure calibration more enticing. You just need to find the most sensitive part of the clit and try various ways of touching and playing with it. Change the pressure, speed, rhythm, and angle to keep surprising your partner with each touch.
To avoid discomfort, you can ask your partner to have a safe word, sound, or action when you do something that doesn’t feel good. As I mentioned, communication is the key.
Toys You can Use for a Better Clitoral Orgasm
There are tons of external sex toys and clitoral vibrator options on the market. Wands, suction toys, and massagers are great if you’re looking to get off. Whether you're a beginner to masturbation or looking to add some variety to partner play, there are plenty of styles out there to help you reach the big O.
As the name suggests, this type of vibrator uses suction and pulsing sensations to stimulate the clitoris and mimic the sucking portion of oral sex. Suction vibrators can make its user feel like they are being eaten out–the most glorifying feeling ever.
Unlike other vibrators, the suction vibrator focuses on the external part of your vulva, meaning your clitoris. It sends out various intensities of pressure waves that feel amazing.
If you are looking for a more versatile option for clit stimulation, you can try wand vibrators. There are various wand sizes, designs, functionalities, and materials available in the market and you can just choose the one perfect for your comfort and needs. Because they usually have long handles and large heads, you can comfortably alter positions when using them.
It is very easy to spot bullet vibrators in the market. Aside from being one of the best sellers, it has a distinguishable bullet shape. Despite its elongated design, it is meant for external erogenous zone stimulation (meaning generally for the clitoris.) Still, you can find different sizes and forms of bullet vibrators with different pleasure purposes.
While some look simply like a bullet, other types can accompany penis rings or dildos for dual stimulation and a better orgasm experience. There are also some that you can on your underwear.
Are you the type of lover who loves sharing experiences and pleasure with your partner? If yes, then having couples vibrators is perfect for you. It has a unique design that helps in stimulating you and your partner simultaneously. This vibrator can stimulate the clitoris while penetrating your vagina and vibrating against your partner’s penis at the same time.
Oral Sex Simulator
Every vulva owners love oral sex especially when it’s done right. If you are looking for a sex toy that makes you feel like being eaten out, you should try oral sex simulators like Honey Play Box’s Adele. This toy mimics licking sensation of the most delicate part of your clitoris. It also offers various intensities and patterns that help you build up pleasure and explode into an intense orgasm.
If you want to give or experience an intense vaginal orgasm, it is crucial to be clitoral literate. You should know how to locate and stimulate a clit with your body parts or sex toys. Despite being small, it actually resembles the tip of your pleasure iceberg. By following the techniques I mentioned above, you can assure a better sex orgasm experience.