If you’ve read the title, chances are you are already familiar with dirty talk from movies, stories from your friends or maybe even from your own sexual encounters. Regardless, all of these experiences make us realize one thing: talking dirty is not as easy as how Jason Derulo says it.
So how can you circle around the potential awkwardness and spill some delicious filth in bed? We’re going to lay down the foundations for you:
Related: How to Sext?
Set the Scene
Think about how movies are made. Studios don’t just get up and shoot whatever on the day. They take the time and effort to research, plan, cast and film so that they can create something that is enjoyable to watch. Dirty talk is similar!
According to Cosmopolitan, setting the scene requires more behind-the-scenes work. You have to spend some time discussing with your partner about their likes and dislikes when it comes to sex because those preferences will play a huge role in how you seduce them with your words. Do they like it slow? Or do they like it coming in guns blazing? Those kinds of questions.
You also need to pour in the effort to make the location inviting as well. Try not to leave the bed as is normally. Get some mood lighting, scented candles, some sensual music or whatever else that will get you and your partner turned on.
You know what they say, dirty talking isn’t just saying the words, it’s about serving them in the sexiest way possible.
Just like penetration, dirty talk requires easing into it because you don’t want to emotionally hurt your partner.
This also applies to you because you want to make sure that you are comfortable as well. If not, then it doesn’t matter how filthy it is, the words will come out awkward.
Mind Body Green gives perfect advice: focus on what turns you on and don’t overthink! It doesn’t have to be extravagant or complex. It can be as simple as asking: “Does this make you feel hot?” or “Do you like how I touch you like this?”
Avoid Getting into Specifics
Now, we’re not saying you should be vague all the way. Mind Body Green says that keeping it simple is best. You don’t have to mention anything about the size, color, speed because the longer you drag something on, the less impact it gives.
But if you really wanna throw in some details, then focus on the simple ones like: wet, hot, big, fast, and the like.
This will really help especially when it’s your first time. Oftentimes, we want to perform so well for our partners that we tend to think more is better. Again, it doesn’t have to be. This isn’t a competition for who gets to say the prettiest words, it’s all about finding the right words to make your partner feel good.
Mind Body Green says it best: dirty talking is all about being open with your partner about your wants and needs. If they express their wish to be touched like this, or to be handled like that, the best that you can do is to be open to it and make the effort into bringing it to life.
This is helpful to anybody – whether you’re new into the relationship or you have years in the bag. It makes your partner feel safe and more willing to share their deepest desires without feeling bad.
But if in any case that your partner feels shy, ask them what they want and give the assurance that whatever they will say is totally okay.
Does Dirty Talk have any Benefits?
Dirty talk may be fun in its nature but when you think about it, it requires a lot of trust between partners. Cosmopolitan reminds us again that apart from setting boundaries, dirty talk is all about giving and sharing. Don’t be selfish and call your partner whatever you want regardless of how they feel. Listen to them and do your best to fulfill them.
What should I say?
Now that you’re better informed about becoming a pro at dirty talking, you might still be stuck at what to say. Mind Body Green gives you a ton of examples to start with right here:
If you want to build anticipation:
I'm so wet/hard right now.
I don't have any panties on.
I need to feel you against me.
I need your lips against my skin.
Just wait until we get home.
I want your mouth on me.
I want you to fuck me from behind.
I want you inside of me.
I want to see you play with yourself.
I want you to undress me.
I want you between my thighs.
I want to taste you.
I want your cock in my mouth.
If you’re in the moment
Caress me all over.
Come for me.
Kiss my nipples.
Grab my ass.
Just like that.
Pull my hair.
Look at me.
Talk to me.
Say my name.
Whisper in my ear.
Moan for me.
Stroke my cock.
Play with my clit.
Get over here.
You like that?
If you want to give recognition:
You feel so good inside me.
You do that so well.
Your cock/pussy feels amazing.
I love your body.
I love it when you grit your teeth.
I love it when you whisper in my ear.
I love it when you touch me there.
I love the way you moan.
I love the way you taste.
If you want some one-hit wonders:
If you’re about to finish:
I love how hard you can make me come.
Your tongue is magical.
That was incredible.
You want to go again?