There are several ways to have a fulfilling and pleasurable sexual experience and one of the hottest trends these days is edging. But, what exactly is edge play? At first, I thought that the idea of bringing a person to the point of orgasm and then denying them that orgasm at the last possible moment is just straight unsatisfying. However, this is actually an extremely fun and pleasurable experience that everyone should try.
What is Edging?
Edging, also known as peaking, is a sexual practice in which an individual engages in sexual activity to the point of orgasm and then stops before ejaculation. The process is then repeated several times over a period of time. This offers prolonged pleasure and may even intensify the experience.
According to psychologists, sexologists, and urologists, the purpose of edging is to prolong or enhance sexual arousal and pleasure by creating a need for release that must be postponed. Both males and females may use edge play for premature ejaculation and have better sexual satisfaction.
There are two types of edging that you may try. The first one is by masturbating or arousing yourself and stopping when you are about to reach your climax. This is more commonly done by a lot of people.
Meanwhile, other people do this by watching porn, arousing themselves, and then switching to other porn videos which delay their ejaculation. You’ll be surprised by the number of individuals who do this.
Moreover, some people might think that edging can only be done alone but that is actually not true. You can try edging with your partner to prolong your sexual activities. This is done by stopping the simulation or decreasing its intensity when one of you is already near orgasm. You can either start the simulation through the same act or change positions and techniques.
Benefits of Edging
The biggest benefit is that it helps improve your sexual stamina. By practicing edging, you'll learn how to control your orgasms better so they don't happen too soon. This will allow you to last longer in bed, which is sure to impress your partner!
Edging also helps you learn more about your body and its responses during sex. You'll be able to tell when you're close to an orgasm, making it easier for you to slow down if needed or speed up if desired. This can help prevent premature ejaculation (which is common among men) as well as increase the intensity of your orgasms once they do occur.
According to the International Society for Sexual Medicine, another benefit of edging is increasing the intensity of orgasm (which I like the most.) In my experience, edge play, as it name suggests, puts me on the edge every time which intensifies my sexual frustrations. When I finally reach my climax, I noticed that it was more intense and felt more incredible than ever. The teasing definitely makes the final act more satisfying. Still, this depends on the person.
Side Effect of Edging
Edging rarely has harmful effects and does not cause ejaculation problems. However, upon researching, there are some things that you might want to consider before trying this out.
1. Idiosyncratic Masturbation
Edging can make other forms of sex less satisfying if it becomes a regular thing. If you always stop just before orgasm, your body will become accustomed to this pattern. Eventually, your brain will learn that orgasms don't come at all times and that edging is the only way to achieve sexual satisfaction. Experts call this idiosyncratic masturbation.
As a form of idiosyncratic masturbation, the satisfaction that edge play offers when done frequently may not be reproduced through other sexual techniques. This causes sexual frustrations in the long run. However, this is only possible if you repeatedly engage with edging for a long period of time without doing other forms of sex.
Moreover, a large percentage of people do edging through their hands, which feels nothing like sexual organs (mouth, anus, vagina, or penis). So when they have to engage with a real person, they may not find the simulation as pleasurable as their usual experience with edge play. They may even lose erections and may get turned off by the experience.
This is why when trying edging, you should make sure to try other forms of sexual pleasures. You may also use toys that mimic the simulation real sex organs offers. I, for one, use dildos or vibrators when doing this even with my partner. You can try that, too!
2. Porn Misuse
As I mentioned, there is another form of edging which is shifting to different porn videos while pleasuring yourself. However, if you are not careful enough, this may result in porn misuse which is a mental issue. Still, this is not a common occurrence for edging and if you think you are experiencing this, several therapies may help you.
How to Edge (Solo Techniques)
Now, let’s talk about how you can edge the right way. There are actually several ways to do this and you must remember that depending on the individual, edging may be or may not be an extremely satisfying experience. Here are some of the ways to edge.
1. Stop-Start Method (Solo)
In this method, it is important that you are in an ideal environment. Make sure to lock your doors, get the right lighting, and play some sensual music, or you may even use your favorite scented candles and diffuser. Start touching yourself until you get wet or hard. Continue simulating your penis or clitoris and stop or slow down right when you’re about to come.
You’ll surely feel tender and more excited by this time. You may start masturbating again and repeat the previous steps with a few minutes of breaks in between breaks. You’ll know when you’re ready to reach your orgasm and this would be more intense than your previous experience.
2. The Squeeze Method (For People With Penises)
People have different levels of sensitivity and some take longer to delay their orgasm. If you think that the start-stop method does not allow you to edge, you may try using the squeeze method.
In this method, you will start by arousing and stimulating yourself to the point of orgasm. When the intensity is building up and you feel like you’re about to come, stop the stimulation and squeeze the head of your penis for about 30 seconds. After that, you are free to start stroking yourself again.
Note that some may take several practices before you can stop for a longer period. This is why you should try building up to 30 seconds while getting used to edging.
In this form of edging, you incorporate Kegel exercises which are designed to strengthen your pelvic floor muscles. After arousing yourself, you have to stop or slow down the stimulation right before you orgasm. As you do this, you must perform Kegels. It is called ballooning as people with a penis will find their erection deflating and growing while doing it.
How to Edge with Sex Toys
Whether you want to do edging by yourself or with a partner, using sex toys definitely adds to the fun. While some designs can help you mimic sex organs when masturbating, they even offer biofeedback on what’s happening in your body as you stimulate your vagina and clitoris with them. It also works for those with penises who use sex dolls or fleshlights.
I personally love using vibrators and love using this 3-in-1 G-Spot vibrator from Honey Play Box. It definitely helped me explore different angles, vibration speeds and rhythms, and even the level of penetration. I usually experience better orgasms when my clitoris is stimulated so this works magic for me.
How to Edge with a Partner
When I first heard about edging, I thought you can only do this while you were alone. But when I started reading about it, I figured that you can also do this with your partner. There are even different ways to experience edging when you’re with someone. Here are some of them:
1. Stop-Start Method With A Partner
This is just like doing the previous stop-start method but with the help of your partner. First, get you or your partner aroused through your favorite foreplay or position. You can try oral sex, playing with nipples, stimulating G-Spot, or touching each other (whatever works for you.)
As you stimulate, make sure that you or your partner is vocal and can give the cue when reaching orgasm so you can stop at the right time. Reduce or eliminate the stimulation and give it about 30-60 seconds before continuing the stimulation and repeating the process. Remember, TIMING IS THE KEY to edging. Also, communication.
2. The Tantric Method
The practice of edging is a common tantric sex activity, which is all about going slow and being intentional as a way to enhance the experience of sex. This, in the process, builds the edge, increasing pleasure, and physical arousal, and fueling sexual energy in the body.
In tantric edging, it is important to be mindful of your breathing patterns and inhale slowly while reaching orgasm. While doing this, visualize slowly pulling your orgasmic pressure from your genitals upward your body and towards your head. If you’re not good with imagination (like me), you can ask your partner to subtly graze their fingers up from your vagina or penis.
After that, you and your partner can go back to stimulating directly and repeating the entire process again. Trust me, this would help you experience a full-body orgasm.
Health and Safety Considerations
As I mentioned before, there are no serious side effects in edging especially when you’re doing it the right way. By following the following health and safety considerations for vulva and penis holders, you can ensure that you and/or your partner will only experience its positive effects.
Considerations for those with vagina
If you have a vagina and you are considering trying out edging, you should first know how long you can pause before your orgasm without losing your arousal. This does not mean that you already know the numbers, it just means that you should do several trials before you edge perfectly.
I once read in Emily Nagoski’s “Come as You Are” that every individual has a different sexual accelerator and brake. This means that you have special things (a porn video, a speed, stimulation, position, or sex toy) that improve your sex drive while some things also turn you off.
When it comes to edging, some people may find it as their accelerator while some may disappoint and experience it as their brake. This is a case-by-case basis that you’ll never know if you will not try. If you think that it’s not helping you get a better orgasm, then edging might not be a good fit for you.
Still, you should consider the fact that not all people, especially those with a vagina, consider orgasm as their goal in sex. If you just want to experience prolonged pleasure despite not having an orgasm, then you can still do this.
Considerations For Those with Penis
Some people have this myth that edging causes erectile dysfunction in people who have a penis. However, this is not the truth.
Erectile dysfunction is the inability of a person to get an erection. Some people who have may also experience difficulty in maintaining their erection (even when they are able to get one) long enough to achieve sexual satisfaction which causes displeasure.
Unlike what some people thought, the potential causes of erectile dysfunction are medical conditions, medications, and psychological or emotional problems. Edging is actually far off from being the main cause of this issue.
Moreover, there is a low chance for those with penises may experience retrograde or weak ejaculation. It, however, may cause you to have blue balls if you don’t do it the right way but this is still highly unlikely.
Frequently Asked Questions
Aside from the information above, here are some of the answers to the frequently asked questions about edging.
1. Does edging make you finish faster?
No. Contrary to that, edging helps you prolong sexual pleasure before finally reaching your orgasm. However, this helps you have a more intense ejaculation than your normal sex routine.
2. What happens if you hold your cum for too long?
It is not harmful to the body if sperm does not leave through ejaculation. The body reabsorbs sperm that does not leave through ejaculation. This has no side effects on sex drive or fertility.
3. What happens if you edge all day?
If you edge too much for the day, it can cause a buildup of blood in the testicles or blue balls, but it's not harmful. It just feels uncomfortable, and the pain will pass.
4. How long should I edge myself?
There is no set time limit on how long a person should practice edging. Typically, people stop stimulation before reaching orgasm for about 30 seconds. You can stop your cycle whenever they feel ready to have an orgasm.
5. How does edging differ from anorgasmia?
People who actively engage in edging can control the timing of their orgasms. In contrast, those with anorgasmia cannot control when they climax or not.